my reasoning

I feel marginalized, as I said. I know I probably sound like a jerk. I always manage too, but If I can't get it out in speech maybe I can get this out in writing.

It just seems like it would be easy to say goodbye, not in a jerky way, when one said, "i'll be off in just a minute and i'll call."

I feel like (though I know this wasn't the intention, and I'm not mad) I was kinda shunted off to the side. forgotton if you will.

I know the time wasn't a carefully calculated period just to hurt me, and I realise that time just got away from you. it happens to me all the time. you know that.

but when I promise you such and such time, I try not to let that happen.

since I just realised I'm not gonna post this, I'm going to say something I wasn't going to say, cause I hate to take the "holier than thou" attitude. HATE it. I am not holier than thou. I am one of the worst examples out there, especially at time keeping.

But i think that, were it me, after promising Ben that I'd only be a short while, and knowing that the person I was talking to never seems "to shut up" as you put it, or "distracting me" as I put it, I'd probably politely say "hey hair, I'm gonna get off now. Its late and I've gotta finish copying my speech, plus I told ben I'd call him in a minute. is that cool?"

to wich I'm sure he'd agree quite aimiably too. I would then log off, finish copying, and call.

I wouldn't keep talking to him, while ben waited for me to call for 20 minutes, then offer up "hair wouldn't shut up" as my exuse, after ben had been laying down, trying to stay awake for me, for those 20 minutes.

as I said, I felt marginalized. like hair was so interesting it was more important to talk to him than it was to keep your promise to me. but I wrote this for nothing, because I don't want to hurt anyones feelings.

god. this all seems so petty. but it really hurt my feelings, and knowing that you don't think that my feelings should be hurt by this hurts even more.

I

I absolutely must see this movie, but it's not comming to arizona :[ I am the saddest person alive. I guess I'll just have to buy it when it comes out.

Can electrons fall in love?

And if they can, do they? because, going back to the "God is a physisist" theory, would we(humans) not be only little indiscribable particles attracted to others by indescribable, undetectable forces? maybe not electrons, as they combine in predictable ways, but do we know why quarks and ups and leptons and downs combine to make neutrons and protons? what if they are scientient on their own level and what we are expeiriencing is a deep physical and emotional attraction for that other particle?

In essense,this would mean that we are made of love. each atom in our bodies an independant universe, while we make up an atom or maybe a molecule in some super organism, which in turn is part of a part of a super-super organism. the universe is possibly made of love. a nice thought, no?

I just wanted to use this blog to do this.

It has nothing to do with love or prettty little things.

Musics to not forget:

-The Dø
-Yael Naim
-Newton Faulkner
-The Raconteurs

*to be expanded

This

has nothing in it yet, but I found the prettiest picture ever and wanted to use it somewhere, you know?

(as for you, artist who I cannot recall, or you copyright policers, please please PLEASE don't turn me in, but if you know, give me the name or deviant art address of the artist so I can contact him/her. thanks :])

AH! credit to JaymiLee on deviant art. phenomenal :]