my reasoning

I feel marginalized, as I said. I know I probably sound like a jerk. I always manage too, but If I can't get it out in speech maybe I can get this out in writing.

It just seems like it would be easy to say goodbye, not in a jerky way, when one said, "i'll be off in just a minute and i'll call."

I feel like (though I know this wasn't the intention, and I'm not mad) I was kinda shunted off to the side. forgotton if you will.

I know the time wasn't a carefully calculated period just to hurt me, and I realise that time just got away from you. it happens to me all the time. you know that.

but when I promise you such and such time, I try not to let that happen.

since I just realised I'm not gonna post this, I'm going to say something I wasn't going to say, cause I hate to take the "holier than thou" attitude. HATE it. I am not holier than thou. I am one of the worst examples out there, especially at time keeping.

But i think that, were it me, after promising Ben that I'd only be a short while, and knowing that the person I was talking to never seems "to shut up" as you put it, or "distracting me" as I put it, I'd probably politely say "hey hair, I'm gonna get off now. Its late and I've gotta finish copying my speech, plus I told ben I'd call him in a minute. is that cool?"

to wich I'm sure he'd agree quite aimiably too. I would then log off, finish copying, and call.

I wouldn't keep talking to him, while ben waited for me to call for 20 minutes, then offer up "hair wouldn't shut up" as my exuse, after ben had been laying down, trying to stay awake for me, for those 20 minutes.

as I said, I felt marginalized. like hair was so interesting it was more important to talk to him than it was to keep your promise to me. but I wrote this for nothing, because I don't want to hurt anyones feelings.

god. this all seems so petty. but it really hurt my feelings, and knowing that you don't think that my feelings should be hurt by this hurts even more.